Stay Sexy & Don't Get Murdered

March 11, 2019
The genres of true crime and self-help might seem like odd bedfellows, but Kilgariff and Hardstark, hosts of the humorous podcast My Favorite Murder, create a winningly quirky amalgamation of the two. Alternating chapters and writing in a conversational style that mimics their on-air banter, the authors reflect on their upbringings, turbulent adolescences, and how they’ve navigated their careers and relationship struggles. Hardstark describes how her early riot grrrl persona belied a deep vulnerability, recounting how the flattery of a stranger once led her to a “secluded mountaintop with a grown man I hardly knew,” a circumstance not unlike those innocently entered into by countless female victims. With humor and poignancy, Kilgariff relays her experiences with substance abuse, self-sabotage, and recovery. The authors advise readers to eschew the myth of perfection and the reverence for politeness, in favor of dignity, agency, and self-preservation. Fans of the podcast—and those who recognize that it’s as much about the cases discussed as the lives of the hosts—will be particularly engaged by this candid, personable dual memoir.

Timely advice and personal anecdotes from the My Favorite Murder true-crime podcast duo. In an effective combination of in-your-face realism and plucky humor, sitcom writer Kilgariff and former Cooking Channel host Hardstark deliver the details on navigating life with a tough skin, providing nuanced autobiographical stories and familial memories. In alternating segments, they share the details of their up-and-down pasts, which helped to shape them into the formidable and successful women they remain today. Kilgariff contributes anecdotes from a youth scarred by her mother's premature death from early-onset Alzheimer's; later, she dealt with an escalating drinking habit. Sharing the wisdom they've collected, the authors offer hard-won truths about themselves as well as timeless reminders about self-care, life balance, relationships, substance abuse, and the restorative power of "kindred spirit" friendships like the one they share. Hardstark writes that though the humanitarian need to help others might come naturally, it should never be done at the expense of one's personal safety, especially for women: "The politeness that we're raised to prioritize, first and foremost, against our better judgment and whether we feel like being polite or not, is the perfect systematically ingrained personality trait for manipulative, controlling people to exploit." She connects this wisdom with memories of her rebellious adolescence observing her divorced mother's toxic dating life while fully embracing the staunch Riot Grrrl scene ("feminism...delivered in a punk rock package"). A lack of self-esteem led to a sketchy encounter with a lecherous photographer and future psychotherapy sessions to process issues and reboot her psyche. Infused with personality, charm, and clever banter, the narrative effectively reflects both authors' separate histories, and they helpfully dispense plenty of worldly advice on how to survive with a street-smart attitude and a fierce sense of self-preservation. Tough love, life lessons, and biting wit combine smoothly with spunky self-help in this must-have for podcast "Murderinos."

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Starred review from March 1, 2019
Kilgariff and Hardstark, hosts of the true-crime comedy podcast My Favorite Murder, first bonded over a shared love of murder and self-help guru Bren� Brown-inspired vulnerability. Their joint memoir leans more toward the latter, but, as fans of the podcast know, the two topics are inseparable, united by a fascination with human behavior. Framed by maxims learned while talking about horrific crimes (like Fuck Politeness, You're in a Cult, Call Your Dad, and Stay out of the Forest ), the essays are about misspent youth, self-esteem, self-care, and generally how to live in this shitty world. As on their podcast, the authors' two distinct voices?Kilgariff's acerbic wit and Hardstark's earnestness?come across vividly and perfectly complement each other. Standout essays include Georgia Gets Her Nipple Pierced for All the Right Reasons, in which she learns the life-saving value of reading, and Karen's Step-by-Step Guide on How to Be a Latchkey Kid, which captures the joy and horror of being home alone with just your older sister. But there is not a dud in the collection, and readers will be left feeling like they just had a kiki with two very funny, if slightly obsessed, friends.HIGH-DEMAND BACKSTORY: My Favorite Murder is consistently on iTunes' Top 10 Comedy Podcast charts, and their huge audience will be eagerly awaiting this book.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2019, American Library Association.)