My Escape from Hollywood

May 1, 2022

Actress/model/cosplay personality Ward provides insight into the often taboo subject of pornography film entertainment with this title. While there are many other porn star autobiographies (from Jenna Jamison and Asa Akira among others), there are very few coming from the perspective of mainstream actresses crossing over into this genre. Ward started her acting career in her teens (notably the sitcom Boy Meets World). She details her experiences working in Hollywood, mentioning well-known names and the harsh realities of working in the industry. She speaks about her professional and personal life, weaving tawdry details about her sexual exploits along the way. As she ages, traditional film/television opportunities eventually dry up and her phone stops ringing. Through a natural desire for exhibition and the type of affirmation it provides, she slowly morphs into an award-winning adult film actress. Ward's honesty and reflection on the industry is often mixed with a steady sense of humor, but the details provided are not intended for those easily offended. VERDICT This memoir is an honest account of the transition from Hollywood to adult film actress. The explicit details provided and style of writing may limit its audience.--Gary Medina

Copyright 2022 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

The memoir of a former TV star who found freedom, success, and herself in the pornography industry. Known for her roles on The Bold and the Beautiful and Boy Meets World, Ward looks back at her life growing up in Los Angeles, becoming an actor, finding some success in TV, and her current work in pornography. Throughout the narrative, the author is clear and engaging in her frank discussions of sex and womanhood. "The turn of the millennium was a hard time for young actresses," she writes. "We were expected to exude sexuality and erotic appeal, but also to remain a virgin until we were married....Women's desire or sexuality became solely focused on what a man on the other side got out of it, whether it be a spouse, or a father, or just a guy in the audience." While her parents stressed the importance of being nice, which was well intentioned, "I was left with the idea that being nice was my value. That's a dangerous thing to instill in a young girl." Ward walks readers through her burgeoning sexuality and maturation process in the entertainment industry, showing how she learned some of the predetermined roles that she would play on mainstream TV before she began to look for a new path and found it in cosplay and, later, adult films. The author is generous and insightful in her reflections on finding a larger sense of self as well as finding true friends in an often superficial industry. "Anyone who tries to shame you for living in truth and happiness isn't looking out for you," she writes. "That's a fact that takes too many of us, especially women, far too long to learn." Regarding her work in porn, Ward expresses herself with effortless honesty and humor about the support and creativity she found in an industry where the creators "are all too often forgotten about as being human and deserving of anyone's real help." For open-minded readers, an exceptional narrative that champions the discovery of freedom in sexuality.

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